Are you wondering, what is Secret Santa? What should you get for your co-worker this Christmas? How can we use Should and Shouldn’t in English? Well, look no further! This special Christmas article has it all! Select the buttons above to learn useful English phrases. Discover the difference between Should, Could and Would. Get advice on what to buy your co-worker for Secret Santa. Most importantly, test your understanding and get feedback on how to use all this fabulous knowledge in your day to day English!
With the Christmas season in full swing, many of you may be preparing for the office Christmas party or other Christmas-themed activities at work. In the UK, this is the time of year when many workplaces set up ‘Secret Santa’ groups.
‘Secret Santa’ is where a group of family, friends or co-workers put their name into a hat, most likely Santa’s hat, and then each participant randomly draws a name from the hat. You then have to buy that person a gift in secret within an agreed-upon budget. Sometimes, you give the gifts in person, other times it is completely anonymous. Everyone gets a gift and it’s a fun way to connect with your team. It’s also a very effective way to manage gift-giving in the office and avoid awkward situations where you don’t know if you should buy presents for people.
But giving gifts at work can be tricky. I remember once working for an English school and the management handed out matching company polo shirts to all the staff. The intention was to make us feel like a kind of sports team, all united in the glorious cause of teaching adults Business English. But you could see a wave of panic rush through the teachers as everyone started asking, “Do we have to wear these whilst teaching?” “Are we wearing uniforms now?”. We weren’t. The polo shirts were symbolic and apparently, this was a kind of American trend. But for a multinational team, the message was lost in translation.
Symbolism is a tricky thing and it cuts both ways. A student of mine told me how he once drew the name of his manager in a Secret Santa event at work. He was not the biggest fan of this manager and the manager was leaving the company, so he decided a great gift would be 10 feet of rope! Needless to say, the gift didn’t go down well and my student was called in for a HR meeting. Thinking on his feet, my student was able to act completely surprised by the offence and explained he gifted the rope as a symbol of climbing higher and higher in his next position. Genius.
So if you are wondering what to get your co-workers for Secret Santa, check out some useful tips on giving gifts at work, how to use ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ effectively and take our Elevator English quiz to test your English understanding.
Vocabulary Reference
be in full swing – usually used for events to describe it is fully happening
be agreed-upon – used to describe something that has already been agreed
be awkward – to be physically or emotionally uncomfortable
an intention – an idea or concept we want people to understand
be symbolic – to represent something or make a connection to another concept
it cuts both ways – there are positives and negatives for everyone involved
to draw a name – a secondary meaning of draw means to take from a larger source
it didn’t go down well – it had a negative reaction from the audience
to think on your feet – to find a solution or idea very quickly in the moment
to offend / an offence – to make someone angry or upset / the thing you did to upset them
If you are like many other English learners, you probably confuse ‘Should’, ‘Would’ and ‘Could’. They are all Modal Verbs, so they are all less direct and suggesting, not telling. So what is the difference?
Should: When you want to say something is a good idea or the ‘right’ thing to do.
For example, “You should leave now if you want to get to the airport on time”.
Would: When talking about possibilities, making polite requests, or expressing preferences.
For example, “I would like a coffee, please.”
Could: When talking about possibilities, asking for permission, or making polite requests.
For example, “Could you teach me English?”
If you are interested in learning the differences between ‘Could’ and ‘Would’, check out our article: How to use Could and Would
The most important thing to remember when using ‘Should’ is that it is about the ‘correct’ thing to do. This is why we use it for giving advice. However, who decides what is ‘correct’? Well, in English, it is half you and half the universe deciding what is ‘right’. Basically, we are talking about ‘social rules’ or ‘conditions’. However, you are the one using ‘should’ which suggests you also agree with this. So when you use ‘Should’ keep in mind that this is usually both a personal and logical statement.
Take a look at the following examples and check the explanation to understand what we are actually saying.
Making Strong Suggestions
“You should take another look at the presentation before we show it to the client”
You have a choice, but I don’t think the presentation is ready and I want you to be prepared.
Politeness
“You should be available at 3 pm so we can discuss this.”
You need to be available at 3 pm, I am being polite but this is not a request.
Expressing Expectations
“We should be doing more to help employees work from home.”
This is what I believe and I would like to discuss ways to achieve this.
Company Policies and Rules
“Employees shouldn’t be smoking in the breakroom.”
Employees are doing this but it is against the rules and I agree with these rules
Using Shouldn’t
“It shouldn’t be a problem”
Anything can happen but I am confident nothing bad will happen
There are lots of cultural differences when giving gifts. If you are working for an international company, Secret Santa can become a lot more complicated. Check out these useful tips to help you decide what you should buy your co-worker for Secret Santa.
You should use the whole budget but not more.
When setting up a Secret Santa, you should have agreed on a ‘maximum spend’. In certain Scandinavian cultures, there may be a cultural norm of modesty, and giving or receiving overly expensive gifts might offend. In some Asian cultures, there is an expectation of giving a gift of similar value to the one you receive. By agreeing on a ‘maximum spend’ you should avoid this awkwardness and all be spending about the same.
You should consider your relationship with this person.
In Scandinavian cultures, practical and functional gifts are more appreciated, such as high-quality kitchenware. However, in some Latin American cultures, gifts with sentimental value, like a personalized coffee mug, might be more meaningful. If you are close with this person, finding something meaningful for them shouldn’t be a problem. However, if you are just acquaintances, you shouldn’t give something symbolic as it is more likely to not go down well.
You shouldn’t give money.
In Chinese culture, it is tradition to give money in red envelopes at festivals and events. Furthermore, numbers have symbolic meaning, for example, the number 8 is lucky whereas the number 4 symbolises death. In the UK, receiving cash at work feels a bit awkward because we are all working (and earning) together. In a typical Secret Santa situation, everyone is getting something for someone at the same price point, so giving money could feel like you are just trading one amount for another. Instead of giving cash, you should think about giving an amount in a different form, such as a gift card for the cafe they like or a trip to the cinema.
You should be mindful of portability and practicality.
In Russian culture, it is inappropriate to gift someone flowers in even numbers and many flowers, especially yellow ones, are symbolic of funerals. In French culture, flowers are widely accepted as an appropriate gift and often paired with chocolates or wine. However, you should be mindful of how easy your gift is to transport. If you are forcing someone to carry flowers around for the whole evening, it can cause problems. Likewise, if you are gifting someone an experience, you should think about who they would go with or if they would have time. You shouldn’t put pressure on someone to spend more money on a gift so they don’t have to do it alone.
You should think about dietary preferences.
Traditional Christmas snacks across much of Europe tend to be very meat-heavy. Whilst it is wonderful to share your country’s delicacies with your co-workers, be aware that Vegetarianism and Veganism are becoming more and more popular. Furthermore, people now tend to drink less alcohol and have stricter dietary requirements, so typical traditional food and drink gifts are not the universal solution they used to be. Selections of chocolates or biscuits are a good way to solve this, but you should be aware of cultural differences when receiving them. In British culture, if you receive a variety box, there is a social pressure to share them immediately. However, in German culture, the tendency is to take them as a personal gift and not share them. This can offend if it is a particularly large box because the suggestion is your German co-worker is a big piggy who will gobble them all by themselves.
You should make an effort but shouldn’t stress too much.
Secret Santa is usually intended to be a bit of fun, so you shouldn’t stress too much. That being said, you should still make an effort in the presentation. In Japan, the art of gift wrapping, or “tsutsumi,” is highly valued. Choosing a beautifully wrapped gift with attention to detail is seen as a sign of respect for the recipient. In China, choosing a gift wrapped in red may be perceived positively, while white wrapping may be linked to funerals and considered inappropriate. Whatever you decide to buy for your co-worker, you should know that people will designate the value of the gift based on its packaging. So if you wrap that coffee mug in some decent wrapping paper, you should get a better response.
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